Tag Archives: lists

Family Wedding

The Guest List

February 22, 2011 – 9:31 pm

As I plan this wedding, I realize that a huge part of the decision making process involves filtering people – either in or out. For example, the people you ask to be in your bridal party, invite as your guests, or follow-up with if they don’t RSVP in time…versus the people you don’t. Although not explicitly stated, these actions are measures of how important certain individuals are to us and let others gauge where they stand in our lives as well.  But problems arise when there’s a discrepancy in what we think and what they think.

I have had family and friends who were offended because they found out about my engagement through Facebook rather than getting a call from me or weren’t invited to the civil ceremony when jigg and I got married at City Hall.  That’s just a small group of people…currently, jigg and I are making our wedding guest list and I can see how difficult the filtering process can be on a larger scale.  Especially because jigg knows so many people!

I always feel like there’s a giant elephant in the room when you’re in the company of someone you fairly well, who knows about your wedding but is not invited. Do you just not talk about the wedding at all? Should I explain myself? Because no matter how I phrase it, the underlying message is that the person just didn’t make the cut…

Then there are awkward situations when people automatically assume they’re invited when they’re actually not. It’s actually a huge pet peeve when people tell me, “I can’t wait to go to your wedding!” or put me on the spot and ask, “I’m invited right?”  Unless that person is extremely close to me, I think that’s one of the rudest questions to ask.

I still don’t have a response to this so I just smile and ignore the question.  But at least I know what not to do around other engaged couples:

  • Assume that you’ll be invited/Ask to be invited.
  • Bring up the wedding if you’re in a group of people where everyone isn’t invited.
  • Feel offended because you’re not invited.  The bride and groom may want a very very intimate wedding or simply just can’t afford a  larger wedding.  They’re stressed enough as is, don’t add to it.

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Miscellaneous

Things I’ve learned about men and relationships

December 15, 2009 – 8:10 pm

My relationship with jigg is the longest serious relationship I have ever been in – which at this moment stands at 6 months officially and 7.5 months unofficially.  At the age of 24, I still consider myself pretty much a noob as far as relationships go.  But I have come a long way (and I still have a long way to go!) in understanding men.  Below is a list of discoveries and lessons I have learned throughout the years.

1. Do not start arguments in public.
I find that this is one the most embarrassing and tasteless things you can do.  It also makes everyone around you feel super awkward.  The best thing is to either pull him aside privately or just walk out.

2. Do not offer to take a shot/drink for your boyfriend.
It insults his manhood; just let him puke.

3. Whine to your girlfriends instead.
For years I wanted the guys I dated to comfort me, tell me that things will be okay, or agree that whoever pissed me off is an asshole.  What I usually get is logical advice – which isn’t very useful when I’m stubbornly being an emotional wreck.  Therefore, go to your girlfriends – they’re usually better at it.

4. Learn to like football.
Sunday and Monday nights get a little bit less lonely that way.  An added bonus would be to remind him to set up his Fantasy Football team every Sunday morning.

5. Meat is his aphrodisiac.
I’m pretty sure a juicy burger would get him much more excited, not chocolate dipped strawberries, oysters, or champagne.

6. Don’t poll your friends and use the results to support your argument.
Friends often have very similar outlook and beliefs, so there’s a likely chance that they would agree with you anyway.  (Or if they’re girls, they would probably find something to agree with you on to make you feel better.  See #3.)   The relationship is between you and your boyfriend, so don’t bring outsiders’ opinions in – it doesn’t matter how many of your girlfriends feel it’s right that their boyfriends buy them a two carat engagement ring.

7. Do not volunteer your boyfriend or RSVP for him.
I just recently made this mistake…twice.  No matter how sure you are he is up for it or assume that since you’re doing it, he would too.  He is still his own person – ask and let him decide.

8. Twist when you go up.
This is what you do with your hand while giving an awesome BJ.

9. Don’t make him do kissy noises over the phone in front of his friends.
Let him have some dignity.

10. Let things go.
Some things are just not worth having the last word over.

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Miscellaneous

Sacrifices

December 1, 2009 – 6:16 pm

As Karen gets ready to move here and probably spend the rest of her life with me, I can’t help but wonder about the insane sacrifice she is making. She is giving up her New England life to be with me, possibly spending the rest of her life in some suburb type neighborhood in Brooklyn.

Since relationships are all about sacrifices, it’s no surprise that she had to give up something to be with me. The question is, what do I give up to call it even? Is there even anything I can give up that actually means something? I can’t give up my left hand, but would just the pinky be too little and seem insincere? It’s quite the dilemma.

The more I think about it, the more I only come up with things I can’t give up. After much thought, I have a list of the top five things I can’t give up and hope that whatever I sacrifice in the name of love, it isn’t too much and hopefully, something I can buy back one day for under 50 bucks.

Top 5 Things that I CAN’T Sacrifice (in the order of importance):
1. Yankees. Tell me to wear anything that represents te Red Sox and I would rather give up life in a fight to the death.
2. Meat. Not eat meat for the rest of my life? Karen would have to allow me to have two mistresses before I am called a vegetarian.
3. Alcohol. No more alcohol? Crazy talk. Quitters never win!
4. Children. I have to have children! I will adopt if I have to.
5. Veto power in naming our kids. No offense, but no son of mine will be named Newton!

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