Tag Archives: lessons learned

Wedding

Takeaway from my wedding photography experience

December 18, 2011 – 3:22 pm

We were looking for something “photojournalistic”.
jigg and I told our photographer that we wanted our wedding photo album to have a “photojournalistic feel” to it – pictures that are unsuspecting and spontaneous, and shots that capture events in mid-action because we felt that those were the type of pictures that told the best stories.

We didn’t care for picture perfect portraits.
Portraits can be very striking and powerful with the proper subject, pose, angle, lighting, etc.  But neither jigg nor I are models – jigg cannot naturally smile in front of a camera and I’m just awkward. We also didn’t have the time to pause and strike a pose during our reception to create this faux picture perfect moment either.  The thought of us standing still with smiles frozen on our faces as guests line up to get a picture with us was also just too dreadful for us to go through with.

Fancy lens effects were not a selling point.
I’m somewhat convinced that the most common ones can be recreated through Photoshop.  Fisheye effect?  Check.  Panoramic effect?  Check.  Bokeh effect?  Check.  [I apologize to my photographer friends who may be aghast by this handling of photography, but honestly, the average person wouldn’t be able tell the difference.]

What cannot be recreated in Photoshop is the raw stuff.  No fancy camera lens or photo editing program can replace a skilled photographer’s eye for awesome pictures.

Of course, these are just our personal preferences.  But there are also a couple of general things anyone can take note from based on our personal experience, advice from our photographer and other married couples, and the knowledge of hindsight.

Even a blind squirrel can find a nut sometimes.
Most photographers can produce a couple of amazing photos in every shoot. For example, if a photographer took a thousand pictures at a wedding, if he’s any way half-decent, at least one would turn out amazing.  And that’s the picture that you’d see in his portfolio.  It’s a numbers game.  But you’re not looking for 0.1% success rate.  So ask to review the complete album from several completed shoots to see if all the pictures consistently meet your expectations.

Your wedding album isn’t really that big of a deal as you think it will be.
Sure, the pictures document a momentous event and help you relive those moments every time you look at them.  But the truth is, you’re not going to look at these pictures again for a long, long, long time.  You may hang a couple of them around the house, but your wedding album will sit mostly unforgotten along with your baby pictures and high school year book until you chance upon it during a spring cleaning many springs later.  Seriously, I don’t know any couple who looks at their wedding album on a regular basis.

Nobody wants to sit there and look at all 1,000 images from your wedding album.
Except maybe your mother.  No body else cares that much.  People do it either because they’re being polite or because they’re flipping through to see if they’re in any of the pictures. So please don’t entertain your guest with a one hour slideshow of your wedding.  I’ve sat through something like this and I will never wish this upon anyone.

So 10-20 of your favorite  images would do.

Photographs by www.JMitchelPhotography.com.

Tags , , , , , , | Permalink | Comment (0)
Doodles Wedding

What I learned from one year of marriage

September 5, 2011 – 9:58 pm

He actually reminds of this regularly.

jigg and I just celebrated our one year anniversary this past weekend.  To commemorate this, I drew him a comic! We didn’t really do anything big because we’re throwing ourselves an awesome BBQ this coming Saturday.

I was stressing myself over the little details while planning this reception at the beginning.  But in the past year, jigg taught me an important lesson, which is to put whatever I’m doing into perspective and ask myself: In ten years, will this matter?  If the answer is no, there’s no point in stressing over it.

So I asked myself the following questions: In ten years, will anyone remember what the centerpieces look like?  Still have kept their party favors?  Care if there is one scented tealight candle per table instead of two?  Admire how heavy the paper is for our invitations?  Recognize what font is used?  Know what the cover of the guest book looks like?  My answers are no, no, no, no, no and no.  Most people toss their invitations into the recycling bin and leave their favors at their table anyways.  And no one sees the cover of your guest book because the thing is opened during the entire reception.

One year of marriage has taught me that it’s not about the fancy table decorations, scented candles, invitations printed on 120 lb cover specialty linen paper, or handmade guest books that showcase the couple.  The important things are the couple, company, and booze.

Tags , , , | Permalink | Comment (1)
Wedding

I finally got my dress!

March 22, 2011 – 10:48 pm

I don’t know why other women kept telling me otherwise, but shopping for my wedding dress was one stressful experience.  In the past couple of months, I must have looked at least a couple hundred dresses online and tried on 40 or so in stores, but each time I think I’ve found the “perfect” dress, something makes me change my mind.

I think the most difficult thing about this process was staying firm to what I wanted because there were so many influences that led me astray.

Salespeople:
Salespeople are awesome at manipulating you with compliments, promises, and classic sales tactics.  I initially started out looking for a short, sun dress with my wedding being a BBQ and all.  But during my first visit to a wedding dress boutique, the saleslady almost convinced me to go for a full out ball gown!  Logistically speaking, she knew that a long dress wouldn’t work, but she had an answer for every objection.  ”Oh, you can hook the train up so it wouldn’t drag.” “The cleaners can take care of a little grass stain.”  ”You want to stand out on your wedding!” “Don’t hesitate! It takes 6 months to order the dress.”  Once she got me in the fitting room, she brought out dress after dress.  Her assistant was tightening my corset, holding my train, walking me to a pedestal in front of a mirror, etc.  They really made me feel like a princess!

I started to notice a pattern with how these salespeople work.  The first couple of dresses they bring out often are to get a feel of what you want.  They also will not say anything negative about a dress until you say it first and they will agree with how great something looks on you if you think it looks good on you.  Then once you find one that you sort of like, they will bring out similar dresses that are nicer and slightly more expensive until they’ve got you hooked on the dress.  To close the session, they will bring out some horrible, expensive dress for comparative purposes so your thought would always go back to how great that other dress looked.

Dress Cut & Fabric
There were many instances of when I found a dress in a catalog that I thought was gorgeous until I tried it on.  This is when I learned that certain dresses, even though it fits in size, will make you look stumpy, flat, or figure-less if the cut isn’t flattering on your body shape.  You can’t tell by looking at a picture because the dresses look great on all the models.  I tried researching for more information online, but different websites gave conflicting advice.  So in the end, the best way to find out was just to go and tried the dresses on.  So yeah, buying a dress you’ve never tried online is a pretty bad idea.

Buying From China
My aunt recently bought her wedding dress online from a Chinese company – she just emailed her measurements and the company sent her the dresses without a problem, $100 for a wedding gown and $50 per bridesmaid dress!  The price caught my attention so I decided to give the company a try.  But when I emailed the company for a quote, it came back with a price of $180 to $250 for a bridesmaid dress…  I understand that it’s customary for Chinese companies to jack up the prices because 1)  they know Americans are willing to pay and 2) bargaining is acceptable.  But the initial correspondence was such a turn off that I cross this option out.

Too Many Choices
Every time I came close to making a decision, I always think there are more choices out there that I haven’t considered and more dresses I haven’t tried.  I always felt the need to keep my options open.  I’m sure if I continued looking, I would eventually find something better, but at some point, I just had to stop and make a decision.

On Sunday, I found the dress I was looking at for the past two months while shopping at Bloomingdales for jigg’s birthday present.  Surprisingly, Bloomies carried it in my size.  I tried it on about five more times in the fitting room and I ended up buying it!

Tags , , | Permalink | Comment (1)
Family Wedding

The Guest List

February 22, 2011 – 9:31 pm

As I plan this wedding, I realize that a huge part of the decision making process involves filtering people – either in or out. For example, the people you ask to be in your bridal party, invite as your guests, or follow-up with if they don’t RSVP in time…versus the people you don’t. Although not explicitly stated, these actions are measures of how important certain individuals are to us and let others gauge where they stand in our lives as well.  But problems arise when there’s a discrepancy in what we think and what they think.

I have had family and friends who were offended because they found out about my engagement through Facebook rather than getting a call from me or weren’t invited to the civil ceremony when jigg and I got married at City Hall.  That’s just a small group of people…currently, jigg and I are making our wedding guest list and I can see how difficult the filtering process can be on a larger scale.  Especially because jigg knows so many people!

I always feel like there’s a giant elephant in the room when you’re in the company of someone you fairly well, who knows about your wedding but is not invited. Do you just not talk about the wedding at all? Should I explain myself? Because no matter how I phrase it, the underlying message is that the person just didn’t make the cut…

Then there are awkward situations when people automatically assume they’re invited when they’re actually not. It’s actually a huge pet peeve when people tell me, “I can’t wait to go to your wedding!” or put me on the spot and ask, “I’m invited right?”  Unless that person is extremely close to me, I think that’s one of the rudest questions to ask.

I still don’t have a response to this so I just smile and ignore the question.  But at least I know what not to do around other engaged couples:

  • Assume that you’ll be invited/Ask to be invited.
  • Bring up the wedding if you’re in a group of people where everyone isn’t invited.
  • Feel offended because you’re not invited.  The bride and groom may want a very very intimate wedding or simply just can’t afford a  larger wedding.  They’re stressed enough as is, don’t add to it.

Tags , , , , | Permalink | Comment (0)
Miscellaneous

Things I’ve learned about men and relationships

December 15, 2009 – 8:10 pm

My relationship with jigg is the longest serious relationship I have ever been in – which at this moment stands at 6 months officially and 7.5 months unofficially.  At the age of 24, I still consider myself pretty much a noob as far as relationships go.  But I have come a long way (and I still have a long way to go!) in understanding men.  Below is a list of discoveries and lessons I have learned throughout the years.

1. Do not start arguments in public.
I find that this is one the most embarrassing and tasteless things you can do.  It also makes everyone around you feel super awkward.  The best thing is to either pull him aside privately or just walk out.

2. Do not offer to take a shot/drink for your boyfriend.
It insults his manhood; just let him puke.

3. Whine to your girlfriends instead.
For years I wanted the guys I dated to comfort me, tell me that things will be okay, or agree that whoever pissed me off is an asshole.  What I usually get is logical advice – which isn’t very useful when I’m stubbornly being an emotional wreck.  Therefore, go to your girlfriends – they’re usually better at it.

4. Learn to like football.
Sunday and Monday nights get a little bit less lonely that way.  An added bonus would be to remind him to set up his Fantasy Football team every Sunday morning.

5. Meat is his aphrodisiac.
I’m pretty sure a juicy burger would get him much more excited, not chocolate dipped strawberries, oysters, or champagne.

6. Don’t poll your friends and use the results to support your argument.
Friends often have very similar outlook and beliefs, so there’s a likely chance that they would agree with you anyway.  (Or if they’re girls, they would probably find something to agree with you on to make you feel better.  See #3.)   The relationship is between you and your boyfriend, so don’t bring outsiders’ opinions in – it doesn’t matter how many of your girlfriends feel it’s right that their boyfriends buy them a two carat engagement ring.

7. Do not volunteer your boyfriend or RSVP for him.
I just recently made this mistake…twice.  No matter how sure you are he is up for it or assume that since you’re doing it, he would too.  He is still his own person – ask and let him decide.

8. Twist when you go up.
This is what you do with your hand while giving an awesome BJ.

9. Don’t make him do kissy noises over the phone in front of his friends.
Let him have some dignity.

10. Let things go.
Some things are just not worth having the last word over.

Tags , , , | Permalink | Comment (0)

Switch to our mobile site