Tag Archives: football

Am I Unsuportive or Just Protective?

jigg loves any sports and activities that challenges him to the physical extreme – snowboarding, football, boxing, etc. etc.   While I’m all for him staying active and not getting fat, I also worry about him engaging him in the more “dangerous” sports.  So every time he engages himself any of these sports, I’m clucking over him like a mother hen.

Recently, jigg got into entering himself into obstacle races.  Back in early fall this year, he and a dozen or so of his friends signed up for Warrior Dash, a 5 km race of (according to its website)  ”mud crawling, fire leaping, and extreme run from hell.”  jigg have been active all summer so he barely trained for it.  I didn’t accompany to the race to cheer him on because it was a boy’s day out type of thing, so I just told him to be careful, come back in one piece, and have fun.  About 15 hours later, he came home with a swollen ankle, a limp that lasted two days, and a bag full of muddy clothes.

After that experience, jigg decided to sign up for another obstacle race that will take place, Tough Mudder, a THIRTEEN mile obstacle that was originally designed by the British Special Forces.  One of the challenges of the race will be swimming across a lake…did I mention that this event will take place the week after Thanksgiving when the temperature is probably around 30 degrees?

At first, jigg told me a bunch of his brothers were interested in doing this event with him but all eventually backed out except for one.  I told jigg he was crazy for wanting to do this, that he’s fast approaching 30 and not 18.  Essentially I didn’t want him to do it.  When I couldn’t dissuade him, I told him to not push himself too hard and take his time if he needed to.  He then laughed and told me I’m the worst person to go to for encouragement.

I thought about all the things I tried to discourage him from doing: boxing, full contact football, snowboarding, his dream to climb Mt. Everest, etc.  So I guess he does has a point.  But how I can I not?!  jigg already has a bad knee, wrists, and shoulders.  Every time he enters a boxing match, he comes back with bumps and bruises.  For his annual Thanksgiving football games, he almost blinded his eye playing football one year and broke his fingers in another year.

I’m not sure where the line ends from being a protective to an unsupportive wife.  On one side, I feel like I should be proud of my husband for being manly and fearless.  On the other, I feel I should be a voice of reason when I feel he’s being reckless…even if I do tend to err on the overly cautious side.

Things I’ve learned about men and relationships

My relationship with jigg is the longest serious relationship I have ever been in – which at this moment stands at 6 months officially and 7.5 months unofficially.  At the age of 24, I still consider myself pretty much a noob as far as relationships go.  But I have come a long way (and I still have a long way to go!) in understanding men.  Below is a list of discoveries and lessons I have learned throughout the years.

1. Do not start arguments in public.
I find that this is one the most embarrassing and tasteless things you can do.  It also makes everyone around you feel super awkward.  The best thing is to either pull him aside privately or just walk out.

2. Do not offer to take a shot/drink for your boyfriend.
It insults his manhood; just let him puke.

3. Whine to your girlfriends instead.
For years I wanted the guys I dated to comfort me, tell me that things will be okay, or agree that whoever pissed me off is an asshole.  What I usually get is logical advice – which isn’t very useful when I’m stubbornly being an emotional wreck.  Therefore, go to your girlfriends – they’re usually better at it.

4. Learn to like football.
Sunday and Monday nights get a little bit less lonely that way.  An added bonus would be to remind him to set up his Fantasy Football team every Sunday morning.

5. Meat is his aphrodisiac.
I’m pretty sure a juicy burger would get him much more excited, not chocolate dipped strawberries, oysters, or champagne.

6. Don’t poll your friends and use the results to support your argument.
Friends often have very similar outlook and beliefs, so there’s a likely chance that they would agree with you anyway.  (Or if they’re girls, they would probably find something to agree with you on to make you feel better.  See #3.)   The relationship is between you and your boyfriend, so don’t bring outsiders’ opinions in – it doesn’t matter how many of your girlfriends feel it’s right that their boyfriends buy them a two carat engagement ring.

7. Do not volunteer your boyfriend or RSVP for him.
I just recently made this mistake…twice.  No matter how sure you are he is up for it or assume that since you’re doing it, he would too.  He is still his own person – ask and let him decide.

8. Twist when you go up.
This is what you do with your hand while giving an awesome BJ.

9. Don’t make him do kissy noises over the phone in front of his friends.
Let him have some dignity.

10. Let things go.
Some things are just not worth having the last word over.

Cheating on Karen with Football

Football season just started and I have been thinking a lot about how to balance the time between it and Karen. Since we’re having a long distance relationship, much of “our” time is spent on the phone at night, usually between the hours of 10-12am. But what if a game runs over into that time slot or what if I’m trying to watch a westcoast game because my beloved Niners are playing?

Karen is accepting about it, but it doesn’t make it right either. I mean, she came into my life before the football season started. At the same time, she does get most of my time during the week anyway.

What do you say about it though? You can’t just be like, “By the way sweetie, I can’t spend time with you at all on Sundays and Monday nights because Football needs my time.” Substitute football and a girl’s name and you get the picture. Sure, football is a hobby, but only to guys. Just like how most guys don’t see shopping as a hobby.

There’s really no compromise either, so I’ll just have to either get her to love football as much as I do or make it up to her somehow. Option number one is the best case scenario, because come on–how can you NOT like football? It requires so much athleticism and teamwork. Unfortunately option two sounds more likely.

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